DEDICATION: To Molly, who gave me the idea for the
song, and to everyone who sent
me song ideas. Thanks a
lot, I appreciate it, and I
dedicate this fic to you!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, nor the song.
It's "Always on My
Mind" from the Practical Magic
soundtrack.
Cordelia
burst into the office, slamming the door
behind her. "You'll never guess what I got in the
mail
today!" she exclaimed
excitedly.
Angel,
sitting at his desk going over paperwork,
looked up upon seeing the tall,
brown-haired actress enter
the room. Sunlight poured in, making him squint.
"Cordelia, why are you
here? I thought rehearsals for
your new movie started
today."
"They
do, but not for another hour. I had to
come
and show you this
letter." She thrust it at him.
He
opened the envelope and read the letter over.
"It's an invitation,"
Angel said simply.
"To
my ten-year high school reunion. Do you
know how
important this is?"
"Probably
not."
Cordelia
stood in front of his desk with her hands on
her hips. "It's my chance to show Sunnydale High
just
how famous I have become."
Angel
shrugged his broad shoulders.
"Have fun. Let
me know how it goes."
"What
are you talking about? Angel, you're
going
with me."
"Me? Why?"
He was confused. "What
about Paolo?"
Paolo was Cordelia's boyfriend.
"Paolo
can miss it. This is your big
chance."
He
raised his eyebrows. "Okay, now
I'm really
confused. My big chance?"
The
brunette actress sighed. "With
Buffy. She'll be
there too, you know."
"I'm
sure she will be. But it's over between
me and
her. And I'm over her."
"Sure
you are. There's still a picture of her
next
to your bed and there's one in
your wallet. Deny it
all you want, Angel, but you are
still in love with
her."
He
had tried to move on, but his heart wouldn't let
him. In every woman he had met, all he could do was
compare her to Buffy. And none of them matched up. "I
love her. I'll always love her. But ten years have
passed. Buffy's moved forward with her life. She's
got a career now. She's gotten married."
"And
divorced," Cordelia added.
Angel
nodded. "And divorced. I don't want to make
her re-live the past."
"How
can she be re-living the past when she doesn't
even know about you? I swear, if you were still a
vampire I'd think you drank some
bad blood. But you're
not a vampire anymore,
Angel. You've been human for
three years and you still
haven't told Buffy about it
yet."
"Because
I don't want to hurt her." It was
the only
explanation Angel could come up
with.
"Hurt
her? How are you going to do
that?" She
stared at him. "Forget it, I give up. The reunion is in
two weeks. You have until then to find something nice
to wear that isn't all
black. You will be going with
me, and you will leave with
Buffy. Is that
understood, Broody
Guy?" Bewildered, Angel nodded his
head.
"Good, I'm going to
rehearsals now. Bye!" She turned
around and walked out the door.
********
The
phone was ringing when Buffy walked in the front
door of her house. She threw her briefcase on the
couch and ran to answer it. "Hello?"
"Buffy,
it's Willow. Did you get your
invitation?"
she asked.
"What
invitation?"
"You
didn't get one?"
"Will,
I just walked in the door. I haven't
had a
chance to check my mail
yet. But fill me in. What
invitation? Is Cordy getting married to that bull
fighter? Tell, tell!" Buffy pulled the bun from her hair,
letting the blonde locks fall
past her shoulders.
Willow
giggled. "No, Cordy's not getting
married
again. It's the Sunnydale High Class of 99 reunion. In
two weeks at the gym of the high
school. Are you
gonna go?"
"High
school wasn't exactly the greatest experience
of my life. Or college, or law school, or my marriage
to Riley, or our divorce last
year. I don't want to
rehash my glorious teenage
years," Buffy explained.
"But
you have to go. Everyone's going to be
there.
Xander, Anya, Cordy,
Oz...everyone!"
Buffy
sat down at the kitchen table, putting her feet
up on the chair across from
her. "Willow, I don't
think I'll be going. I'd rather live in the now than in
the past."
"Come
on!" Willow pleaded. "One
night won't kill
you. Or the weekend-long festivities.
Free party!"
The
blonde lawyer laughed. "Okay, I'll
go. But I'm
not guaranteeing that I'll have
a good time."
"Buffy,
I guarantee it'll be a night you'll never
forget."
When
they hung up, Willow immediately dialed Cordelia
in Los Angeles. "Cordy? It's Willow. Buffy'll be
there."
********
Cordelia
walked into Angel's apartment without
bothering to knock. "It's me, Angel!" she
announced. His
bedroom door was closed, so she
assumed he must still
be getting dressed. MAKING SURE HE LOOKS EXTRA-NICE
FOR BUFFY. She couldn't wait for them to get back
together. Angel deserved some happiness, especially
with
Buffy.
"I'll
be out in a minute," Angel called from behind
his closed door.
"You're
not wearing all black, are you?" demanded the
anxious actress.
He
opened the door and stepped into the living room
area where Cordelia stood
waiting for him. "Is this
sufficient? Does it meet your requirements?"
Cordelia's
breath caught in her throat. She had
never seen Angel look so
handsome in the twelve years
she'd known him. He'd gone easy on the black, wearing
black dress pants, a white
button-down shirt and a navy
blue tie. His hair was perfectly coifed in his
trademark spikes. She couldn't help but stare at him.
"What
is it? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Buffy is going to faint when she sees
you.
You look great, really. Like my dress?" She spun
around in her floor-length black
dress with matching
black heels. Cordelia had left her long brown hair
flowing down her back.
Angel
smiled. "Beautiful as
always."
She
held out her arm. "Shall we go?"
He
linked his arm in hers.
"Certainly."
********
The
gym of Sunnydale High had been decorated with
balloons and streamers. Above the bleachers hung a sign
that read: WELCOME, CLASS OF
1999. It wasn't the same
building, but it felt like it to
those members of the
graduating class.
Cordelia
walked through the double doors with Angel
at her side and a grin on her
face. She had made the
grand entrance she planned on,
as her fellow graduates
stared in awe of her. The beautiful movie star they
had gone to high school with on
the arm of a movie
star-handsome man. She was the envy of everyone there,
and she knew it.
Scanning
the gym, Cordelia found Willow and Oz
standing near the refreshment
table. She waved. "There's
Willow and Oz. Let's go say hi," she said to Angel.
"All
right."
They
made their way over. Upon reaching
them, the
four exchanged hugs. "It has been way too long,"
expressed Willow. "You two look terrific."
"So
do you," replied Angel.
"Is
Buffy here yet?" Cordelia wanted to know.
At
the mention of her name, Angel's stomach muscles
clenched, his heart raced and he
felt the blood rush to
his face. He planned to tell her everything, and
hoped she would show up. It had been too long since he'd
seen her.
Oz
noticed Angel's reaction. "She'll
be here any
minute." He put a hand on the former vampire's
shoulder.
"Hey, man, how does it
feel? To be human."
"Good,
except--"
"Except
for that special someone?" guessed Oz.
Angel
sighed. "Exactly. Cordelia dragged me along
so I could tell her
tonight. And I've never been more
nervous in my life."
Oz's
eyes drifted to the doorway.
"You'd better get
over it. Buffy just walked in the door."
Angel
turned slowly to see her. It had been
ten
years since they'd last laid
eyes on one another. Seeing
Buffy again transferred Angel
back to that
Thanksgiving ten years
earlier. She may have aged ten years,
but
she still looked young and
beautiful. Her blonde hair
had been swept up in a french
twist with a few curled
tendrils framing her face. She remained as thin and
slight as he'd remembered her,
and wore a knee-length
red dress with spaghetti straps
and red heels. She
took his breath away.
"She's
here," Willow whispered to Cordelia.
"Time
to put our plan in motion."
Willow
headed over to her best friend.
"Buffy, you
look amazing."
Buffy
smiled. "So do you. Where is everyone?"
"Oz
is talking to Cordy, and Xander and Anya are
saying hi to Amy. Come on."
The
two walked toward Oz and Cordelia.
Willow tried
to suppress the giddy
smile. The two greeted Buffy
with sly grins. "Hi, Oz. Hi, Cordy. You look
great."
"You,
too. Did you come alone?"
Buffy
nodded. "Yeah. What about you? Where's
Paolo? Off charming some unsuspecting girl?" she joked.
Cordelia
shook her head. "No. I decided to bring
someone else along
tonight."
"Who?"
Angel
stepped through a crowd of people. He
was
ready to face her. "Hi, Buffy," he greeted nervously.
She
looked up in shock. ANGEL. "Angel. What are
you doing here?"
"He
came with me," answered Cordelia.
"Hope you
don't mind."
Buffy
blinked and composed herself. Seeing
Angel
again forced all of her old
feelings to the surface.
Excitement, anger, hatred,
friendship, love -- they all
resurfaced. But she didn't want him to see that. "No.
Why would I?"
Thoughts
rushed through Angel's mind when she said
that. SHE DOESN'T CARE ANYMORE.
BUFFY'S MOVED ON. He
looked at Cordelia, who shook
her head in response.
"I
don't know."
Buffy
smiled. "Don't worry, Cordy. It's fine with
me. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to say hi to Scott
and his wife." She left the group quickly. Being
that close to Angel stirred up
too many memories. It
hurt to look at him, knowing how
much she still loved him
after all that time.
Angel
slumped his shoulders in defeat.
"I can't do
this, Cordelia. Buffy doesn't care, doesn't have any
feelings for me anymore. I'm going back to L.A."
"No! Trust me on this, Angel. She still loves you."
He
looked over at Willow and Oz, who nodded in
agreement. "It doesn't seem like it to me. She barely
looked at me."
"Buffy
has her defenses on high right now. You
have
nothing to worry about,"
reassured Willow.
"I
hope so."
Willow
put a hand on his shoulder.
"Angel, she's
going to be thrilled when you
tell her. Trust me on
this. Just give her a little time.
Wait a bit before
telling her."
"What
am I supposed to do until then? I only
know
you guys."
"Sit,
talk, eat--" Oz started.
"Brood,"
added Cordelia.
He
shot her an icy glare and sat down in a nearby
chair.
********
An
hour later, Angel still sat in the same chair.
Cordelia was off talking to some
of her friends, Oz and
Willow were dancing, and Xander
and Anya were on the
other side of the gym with
Buffy. He'd been sitting
there alone for fifteen minutes
and finally decided that
the time was right to talk to
Buffy. He stood up and
walked over toward her. Buffy must have seen him
making his way over and excused
herself.
"Buffy,
hi," he said when they reached each other.
"Hi,"
she replied.
An
uncomfortable silence fell upon them. A
slow song
began playing, and Angel took
advantage of the
opportunity. "Would you like to dance?"
"What
about Cordelia?"
"She's
busy socializing. I'm not good at that
kind
of stuff," Angel told her.
She
smiled. "So I remember." She held out her hand
and he led her to the dance
floor. Angel held her in
his arms as Buffy rested her
head in the crook of his
shoulder.
//Maybe I didn't treat you
quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind\\
"How
have you been?" Buffy asked.
"Hanging
in there. You?"
She
shrugged. "Okay. It hasn't been the greatest
year for me."
"I
heard about the divorce. I'm really
sorry."
"Thanks. But Riley and I wanted different
things.
He wanted a stay-at-home
wife. And I've never exactly
been the domestic type. He wasn't the one."
"The
one?"
"The
one man I'm meant to be with. Someone
who makes
my heart flutter just by being
in the same room."
LIKE YOU DO.
"And
Riley didn't do that for you?"
"Nope. I really wonder if he's out
there." HE IS,
BUFFY, her mind told her. YOU'RE IN HIS ARMS RIGHT
NOW.
//Maybe I didn't hold you
all those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best
Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind\\
Buffy
wanted to change the subject. "So,
how are
things in L.A.?"
"Demon-free,
actually. It's been kind of quiet
lately. Are you still slaying?"
"No. The Council retired me about four years
ago.
Sometimes, if I can't sleep,
I'll go and patrol, but my
work keeps me pretty busy."
"Must
be tough work, being a lawyer," Angel
commented.
"No
harder than slaying. But a lot
safer."
He
laughed. "I bet."
//Tell me,
tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me,
give me one more chance to keep you satisfied...\\
"Angel,
I've missed you. Missed seeing you,
talking
to you," Buffy admitted.
Angel
rested his chin on top of her head.
"I have,
too. Everyday, I miss you more and more."
"How
did we lose touch?" she wanted to know.
"When
did it happen?"
He
looked to the ground. "After
Thanksgiving 99,"
he said softly.
//Little things I should have
said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind\\
"I'm
sorry," Buffy apologized.
"For
what?"
"I
didn't do anything you wanted me to."
Angel
sighed. "Buffy, yes you did. You moved on.
That's what I wanted for
you. To have a taste of a
normal life."
"It's
not for me. I'm not normal."
"You
are now. You can have a normal
life."
//Maybe I didn't treat you
quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't hold you
all those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine...\\
"I
know. Sometimes I wonder if I want to
be normal.
I look at you, and I'm willing
to give up any normalcy
to be with you again."
I
HAVE TO TELL HER NOW. SHE DOES WANT TO
BE WITH ME.
"Buffy, there's something I
have to tell you."
The
song ended and Buffy looked Angel in the eye.
"What is it?"
Angel
shook his head. "Not here. Not now."
Buffy
could tell he had something important to tell
her. "Where?"
"I
don't know. Someplace private."
"I
think I know just the place."
********
Cordelia
watched as Buffy and Angel left together.
"Looks like our plan
worked," she said to Willow.
"And
it only took ten years. A new
record."
"Come
on, let's tell the rest of the gang."
********
"What
is it, Angel?" Buffy asked when they stepped
out of their respective
cars. She had chosen a beach
five miles away.
He
motioned for her to sit on a large rock.
Waves
crashed loudly onto the
shore. "I really don't know how
to begin. I hope you don't hate me for what I'm about
to tell you."
"I
couldn't hate you."
"You
might."
"Well,
why don't you let me decide?" The
suspense
was killing her.
Angel
sat down on the rock next to her.
"It happened
three years ago. A group of demons came to L.A. to
rid the world of human
life."
"Like
Acathla or the Judge?"
"Kind
of. Cordelia, Wesley and I stopped them
barely
in time. The Oracles summoned me the next day."
Buffy
raised her eyebrows.
"Oracles?" She didn't
know who they were.
"They
speak for The Powers That Be. The
Oracles told
me that I had earned my
redemption by stopping these
demons. I'd atoned for my sins." Seeing the look of
bewilderment on Buffy's face,
Angel explained. "I--I
was told once that if I saved
humanity or averted the
apocalypse, I could be given my
humanity back. And
that's what happened. Buffy, I'm human."
She
only stared in shock. "What?"
"Human. Normal like you."
Buffy
took a deep breath. "And you've
been human for
three years? Why didn't you tell me when you first
found out?"
"You
were married at the time. I thought if
I told
you, you'd think I was trying to
reclaim you. And I
didn't want you to think that,
Buffy."
"What
made you wait until now?"
Angel
shook his head. "I wasn't sure if
you would
even care or if you would want
to relive the past."
Buffy
stood up and walked over to him. She
kissed
him with a passion she could
never muster throughout her
failed marriage to Riley. It stemmed from love, trust
and happiness. "I love you, Angel. I've never loved
anyone but you."
"I
love you, too."
"This
is our second chance at happiness. And
I
refuse to let anything ruin
it. I want to be with you
forever," swore Buffy.
"So
do I."
They
walked down the beach hand-in-hand, remaining
there until sunrise. It was the first they'd shared
together. The first of many. Buffy smiled and laid her
head on his shoulder as the sun
rose above the
horizon. The sun would always rise. It was something she
could count on. AND NOW, I HAVE FOREVER WITH ANGEL. MY
LIFE IS PERFECT.
"Never
leave me?" she asked of Angel.
Angel
grinned down at her. "Never. That's the whole
point."
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